I was in the charity shop when I heard the news. We had briefly adjourned there, the woman I didn’t know, our mutual friend, and I, after visiting the post office next door.
I got there first and had an obligatory look at the CDs next to the door before they followed me in. There was nothing worth getting. We formed a loose triangle.
“The thing is, if something is too good to be true, it probably is,” the one I didn’t know confided.
“Ah, uhm.” I said.
“Yes, he’s dead. Trump is dead.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, it’s all on my iPad, he died in 2022.”
“So… when you see him on the telly..?”
“That’s mainly CGI.”
“Oh, right.”
“Watch the hands.”
“Errr…”
“But also: clones.”
“Oh, clones.”
“Oh yes, there’s a lot of clones.”
“Right.”
“But mainstream doesn’t tell you about them.”
“No. They don’t.”
“No. The thing is, he was bringing in the new world order, Trump was,” she shook her head. “It’s like I said, when something seems too good to be true, it probably is.”
“Ah, er… Mmm.”
“So what religion are you, then?”
Safer ground, I thought. “Christian,” I said.
“Ah right, for a moment I thought you might be Catholic.”
“Ah, well, I mean… Uh, not Catholic, no.”
“Because they’re getting what’s coming to them.”
“Do you think?”
“Yes, after everything what’s gone on. The cows are coming home to roost.”
“Well… I…”
At this point there was a well timed interjection from the mutual friend:
“The thing is, when people get power, things can get messed up pretty quickly.”
Everyone agreed with that. A moment of relief, the slight tension that had been building up seemed to dissipate.
“So do you have anything to do with the church down the road there when you do your ministering?” The mutual friend asked.
“Well, I know some of the people there, but that’s the Church of England, I’m not Church of England.”
“Ah yeah. It gets quite complicated, all this religion stuff.”
“It does, doesn’t it.”
There was a pause.
“The thing is,” said the mutual friend, “there are good people in all these places.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “there really are.”
“And bad people,” the Trump-truther pointed out.
“Ah, uhm,” I said.
The Trump-truther picked a small brown casserole dish.
“This will be good for shepherd’s pie,” she said.
I picked up a tea-cup and wondered whether it was good quality or not. I turned it over. It was German.
The Trump-truther walked off to the cash register. The mutual friend and I exchanged news of other mutual friends. “I saw little Baz the other day,” she said finally. “He’s got himself a flat now. His dad died, and he got some money.”
I couldn’t remember little Baz, in fact I wasn’t sure I’d ever met him. But it didn’t seem entirely necessary to say so.
“It was nice to see you,” said the mutual friend. “Hope everything goes well with the church and everything.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“It’s nice, this,” said the Trump-truther, weighing the casserole dish in her hand. “Just right for one portion.”
And with that they were gone.
I thought about how the conversation had gone. Then when nobody was looking I googled the German brand of the tea cup I’d looked at.
“Middling,” I thought.
Everything on my Substack is free. You don’t get anything extra by paying. Except a warm glow - which you might have already. Possibly from porridge.
I’m taking questions though. Send me one by hitting reply.
Progressive reflections on the lectionary coming to this service soon. Liturgical resources likewise.
this is a fun read!